I was chatting with my neighbours one afternoon when a tall, dark man in 'a police uniform walked over to join us. 'This is Bill, he's a local police officer', said my neighbour. I smiled and shook his hand. As I id, I noticed he was shaken. He obviously shy, so when he suggested meeting for a coffee, I felt sorry for him and agreed. I'd recently moved to a new house in Ontario, Canada, had just lost my mom and separated from my husband - I felt I needed a friend.
Obsessed and dangerous
We had a coffee a couple of times. Bill seemed nice, so one eveningI visited his place. he was listening to heavy metal music. "This is awful music for someone your age', I joked, but as soon as I said it. I knew I'd made a mistake. Bill's eyes flashed with anger, and he grabbed my shoulder so hard that I slipped over. In shock, I called my friend Barbara to pick me up. "That's it', I said. 'I don't need a friend like that'.
But Bill had other ideas. he began bombading me with call 24 hours a day, saying he loved me. My eldest children weren't living at home but if my daughter Michelle, then 14, answered the phone, he'd demand to speak to me. I tried to let Bill down gently but he wouldn't listen. 'It's OK that you don't love. You'll grow to love', he pleaed. At first I thought that as Bill was in the police he couldn't possibly be a danger. But as time went on, I started to get more and scared. he began sleeping outside my house in his patrol car, so that he'd be there first thing in the morning. he'd insist on driving us wherever we needed to go. If we refused to get in the car, he'd threaten to hurt us. "The police would believe me over you, 'he said. terrified of what he'd do if we refused, we agreed. Michelle and I began sleeping in the living room, so that if Bill ever broke into the house we could run for the door. I couldn't bear to see Michelle so scared. Steeling myself, I went to Bill's police department to report him. Incredidibly, they told, "Bill has a problem with alcoho;. Why not be his friend and help him through?' From that point I felt helpless. There was nowhere ese to run.
The sinister stalker
Everytime I left the house, Bill followed me. Once as I squeued in the supermarket, he came up behind me and kicked me in the shin. 'Why didn't you call me to take you shopping?' he yelled. Everyone stared-I felt so ashamed.
Then Bill started to harrass my friends. I even got sacked from my job because he was always around. Once when I went on a date, Bill almost crashed his car into us. Still I felt powerless-he'd told me so may times that no one help us. Bill stalked me for three years. the strain on Michelle was awful. Bill insisted on driving her to school, so the other kids turned against her, calling her a 'nark'. I watched my outgoing, popular daughter turn into a paranoid wreck. Some of the bullies called her fat, so she stopped eating. Looking back she must of felt as if that was the only part of her life she could control. She went from a 100 pounds to 70 pounds I had to take her to endless doctor's appointments. eventually in the summer of 2000, one of my friends complained to police different police force on my behalf. Bill was made to enter into a 'peace bond', a kind of injunction. But he soon broke it. Bill and a friend circled Michelle in his car and said to her, 'Do you know what death feels like? It's coming to you'. eventually, in 2001, Bill was arrested again. He admitted harassment and violence. But the case never went to course to to trauma. Michelle and had moved out of town and stayed in a shelter for a few weeks. But than I didn't care about Bill-it was Michelle who worried me. she'd sit in her room all day, rocking. we were compensated by the Criminal Injuries Board and given therapy, but Michelle refused to talk about the past.
Breaking point
One day in 2003, things came to a head. I was in the garden with a friend. Michelle came outside, doubled over in agony, and collapsed in my arms.. She had taken over 300 pills But thanksfully, she recovered fully. Now we're slowly rebuilding our lives. After missing five years of school, Michelle is studying law. As she grows happier, so do I, but i'll never get over the guilt of knowing that I brought Bill into ours lives. And I still wonder if he'll find us again.
Michelle's story
Michelle now 23 says: "I can't believe what Bill put us through. I just started hight school, and having a uniformed policeman taking me to school turned me into an outsider. The other kids called me names and pushed me around. 'eventually, when I was 15, after 20 kids surrounded our house, I left school and studied online. I was to scared to go out. I started to punish myself by not eating. I lost 20 pounds in two weeks. Mom begged me to eat but I wouldn't. "When we moved, I hoped everything would get better, but it didn't. i was scared to be around people. I felt so depressed, I just wanted to sit in my room in the dark. that's when I decided to end it all. 'I took some pills, then told my family I loved them. I remember crawling in agony to give mom the phone, and hearing her screaming. "Waking up in hospital, I realized I didn't want to die. I just wanted to be heard. Since then, I've slowly picked up the pieces. I'm very happy now and I want to put the past behind me.'
