The Monday after a company business dinner, a wife tells her husband that her boss was most impressed with how smart and interesting he was. “What in the world did you all talk about? He couldn’t stop talking about you.” Her husband pauses, smiles and says, “Funny thing about that. She did all the talking: I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.”
Isn’t it interesting how people presume that your silence means you are listening carefully?
It could be that you are creating a grocery list in your head or planning how you will end the conversation...or perhaps redirect it. But the person who is speaking is grateful to have an audience and extends good will towards an audience that, at least, appears attentive. Listening can be the critical skill that distinguishes you in your workplace and allow you to meet strategic and operational goals. Listening well (a so-called soft skill) can be practiced, refined and integrated into all interactions. What kind of a listener are you? When someone is speaking to you, do you hear words or do you listen to the message?
Listening well helps you to:
- Assess individual commitments and concerns
- Identify potential areas of conflict
- Foster a climate of open communication
If you need to obtain buy-in for a new strategic direction, or if you have to provide meaningful feedback to a team member, or if you need to defuse conflict, listening well will demonstrate your understanding. Showing you know what's important allows you to:
- Engender trust
- Align individual goals (What's in it for me? WIIFM) with organizational goals (WIIFO)
- Build strong relationships that foster collaboration throughout the workplace
Why do we have two ears and one mouth? It's more important to listen than to speak.
