Catchphrases like “Mind over matter” and “It’s all in the mind” are opinions that get flung around as casually as clothes into the laundry basket. People give us such counsel to help us sort out problems or achieve goals, all important needs for wellness to exist in our lives. There are ample studies to indicate that there’s truth to these claims too. Take the placebo effect, where people are given sugar pills instead of medication. In the case of depression, for instance, the majority of trials show that sugar pills cause changes in the same areas of the brain as do the medicines. So yes indeed, the mind is a powerful thing.
What stops us, then, from being able to utilize this powerful tool in our body? This is the question that I focus on in my Self-Imaging Therapy™ practice, an approach that I created and developed. What I’ve learned from doing my work is that the mind is as much an enabler as it is a disabler. It can build us up, and it can take us down. The problem is that when it is disabling, there is no evil intent inside of us to self-destruct. We are actually trying to help ourselves, just in very misguided ways. This is why we keep doing the problem thing. Once patterns become habitual, we get stuck repeating them because we don’t know other ways to function.
So that is why I focus on self-images to help teach people how to break out of habitual patterns that disable them. Self-images also help people find within themselves ways to get their mind working to juice them up instead of bringing them down. Let me share with you how this works. Your identity, which is how you see and perceive yourself to be, is made up of a multitude of self-images. There are negative ones that make you feel bad about yourself, like thinking that you`re not good enough. Then there are the ones that uplift you, like seeing yourself as confident and secure.
When you come to believe that negative self-images are part of who you are, you will be dragging them around with you like a ball and chain. If a negative self-image is stronger and more present than a positive self-image, then it will be hard to uplift yourself with the positive as the negative one will overpower you. So if you feel 60% not good enough and only 40% good enough, then the former will win. Mind over matter, then, will bring you down not build you up.
Let’s get you started now on getting the mind to work for you, rather than against you so that you can take better care of you. That’s what helps you to not get stuck in the muck of life´s stresses and challenges. Below are four steps you can take to do this.
4 Steps to Transform Negatives into Positives
(1) Think about just one negative self-image that you walk around with. This is how you think of yourself at times. Perhaps this self-image sees the self as not being good enough or not smart enough or too weak or too accommodating or a loser. We all have negative self-images, so think of one that you notice gets in your way.
(2) Write down that negative self-image and give her or him a personality. You can think of a movie, TV or cartoon character, for instance, that represents this. Or you can imagine what this type of person would be like.
(3) Write a letter to this character, telling him or her just three qualities that make him or her okay in your eyes. These are things about yourself that you like. If you find it hard to think of these three positive qualities, ask a friend, co-worker or family member. Focus on these other qualities and allow them to offset the negative self-image.
(4) Do this simple exercise everyday for a week. This trains your mind to see yourself in a positive light. Then practice this exercise in your mind in your day to day life. When you notice that negative self-image pops up and wants to take over, name that self-image and tell her or him that you there are three positive qualities that are great about you and that you like and that make you A-okay in your mind.
by Dr. Nicola Bird.
