Valentine's Day invites you to consider how you love yourself, and ask yourself this: is my habitual way of being in my body that of fear and self-destruction or that of loving self-preservation?
Under stress, we often have the tendency to re-play negative thoughts calling it "figuring things out." This kind of habitual rumination causes us to hold shallow breathing patterns and muscular tension and tells our body to release the stress hormone cortisol which shuts down the digestive and therefore the immune system. This way of being in the body is operating out of the sympathetic mode, also known as the fight or flight mode, and overtime manifests as disease. Unless you are running from a bear, this is the mode of fear and self-destruction.
Meditation with deep breathing, aerobic exercise, and massage all give us time to breathe deeply and relax fully. This way of being in the body allows it to reset itself to the parasympathetic mode, the mode your body needs to experience in order to digest food successfully, sleep well, fight disease and think clearly. This works like shutting down the computer for a while when the virtual memory is full and it has begun to operate sluggishly. A few minutes of down time, and it works like new. This is the mode of self-love and preservation.
The body is like clay. It molds itself to the habitual pressure we apply with our thoughts & movements. So if you're breathing in a shallow pattern or tightening muscles subconsciously, the body thinks, "Okay, we need to be like this," so it becomes chronically stressed and stays in the sympathetic mode even when there is nothing to flee from or fight: self-destruction. If on the other hand, you build deep breathing, fluid movement, and positive visualization into your life-style habits, the body will automatically begin to operate more out of the parasympathetic mode: self-love and preservation.
The mind-body is an amazing mechanism that responds like a puppy to loving attention with exuberant joy. It also tells us when we are not giving it the loving attention it needs. It starts to whimper and beg. So, as Valentine's Day comes near, notice what your mind-body is telling you.
If you notice exuberant joy and energetic health, you've probably been getting regular massage, meditating, eating a healthy diet, exercising, and practicing loving-kindness toward yourself. If you notice some whimpering and begging, open your heart to yourself, and make the commitment to regular self-care: book a massage, enroll in yoga classes, dance in the living room, eat more veggies, and breathe!
